This is gonna be a personal post. Put on “1944” by Audrey Fall or “Lightning & Snow” by Woods Of Ypres or whatever gets you going…
Every time I boarded a plane, I was horrified. I couldn’t sleep a minute, I didn’t want to eat. All I could think about was “what if the plane crashes, I die, and then all I have to show up for after 25 years on this earth is a mediocre machine-like life?”. I realized, that 25% or even more of my life had passed and I wasn’t satisfied with it, AT ALL. I mean, I had a pretty cool youth filled with drugs, girls, parties, video games and playing in Heavy Metal bands and I topped that off with a nice Poker career, but now I was stuck in a day job. All I could think about was that if I died right now, I would probably die as an unfulfilled, sad, useless person.
Flying was pure horror for me (even though flying is statistically the safest mode of travel, talk about thinking in probabilities). There were so many things I never tried, so many places I never had the chance to visit. So many cuisines I wanted to taste, so many cultures I wanted to experience. But there I was, with a low-end salary and 15 days of vacation a year. I thought to myself that I was probably never going to see Machu Picchu, I would never chill in Okinawa for a period of 6 months or longer and rest my soul as I watched the tide come and go, I would never dance with the beautiful women of Colombia or have intellectually stimulating conversations with people from all around the globe. And probably I wouldn’t even have time to read all the books of all the people I admired so much. It really was hell.
Basically, I had two choices, break out or wither and die a silent death. This is what it really boiled down to in the end. I knew this was the truth. When I told this to my friends and family they looked at me as if I was mad, they never understood me – after all, I had a secure job with tons of career options. But FUCK no, this was never what I wanted. I wouldn’t silently accept the slaughter of my soul as so many others did and do.
One night, while lying awake as so many nights before, I finally made the decision to do everything in my power to live my life to the fullest, and it changed everything. I would spend every single second I had on making this thing called trading work. And on the side, I would establish other income streams. I would live a location-independent lifestyle. I would live wherever I wanted to live, whenever and how long I wanted to, work with whomever I wanted to work and tell everyone who was obstructing my dreams to shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of my life. I was going to see the world, I was going to live life my way as good old Sinatra put it so poetically and no challenge, no obstacle, no nothing was ever going to be big enough to keep me from doing so. Fuck. Them. All. Or Kill’Em All, in Metallica’s words.
Especially in times like these, where humanity is basically heading for oblivion or redemption, this choice is more obvious than ever. The generation of our children is either not going to exist due to a nuclear fallout or it will find itself in a job market that is dominated by machines and AI’s, and if they are lucky they will receive a basic income and will thus be able to derive their self-value from something else than their jobs or the size of their bank accounts.
The time to act is now. And I am by no means saying that you should quit your job tomorrow and try to live on a $500 trading account. But you should definitely take your chances. Save up as much money as you can, make a plan, assess your trading capability and then take the leap of faith. Just do it. Stop hesitating, stop saying “tomorrow”, stop making up excuses. You CAN do it. Make sure you have enough savings to survive for a year or two, and a big enough trading account so you don’t put pressure on yourself, and then just do it. It really is that “easy”. Even if you are not yet profitable, I really encourage you to try it out and give it your best shot for 12 months. What is money, what is a “hole” of one year in your CV? You don’t live for your CV, do you? Screw that.
You can always go back to your old career if you don’t make it in those 12-24 months. Then assess what went wrong, save up more money, and do it again. But at least fucking TRY. Sorry, lots of f-bombs in this article, but it is really a matter that is close to my heart. Rolf and I are going to go on a world tour soon, seeing all the places we always wanted to see over the span of a few months or years, living live by our own standards, NOT by the standards of other people/society/rules/WHATEVER. We are really living our dream and I have to remind myself often of that very fact because it all came so fast and “easy” once I took the leap of faith.
Don’t get me wrong, it was a long and painful journey to get to that point but once you really commit yourself to it and give it your everything, chances of it happening are incredibly high and you will meet lots of awesome people along the way that will actually help you MAKE it happen instead of getting in your way. And it will all have been worth it, no matter the outcome.
You will lose friends, you will lose yourself and you will lose loved ones, maybe even family, but eventually you will come out on top and live the life you always wanted to live, whatever that may be. And don’t ever let anyone tell you that you cannot do it. Going full time was the best choice I ever made and life has been a constant up since then. I can feel myself, I AM alive. Before, I was just a zombie. Useless, redundant flesh. Now I am just me, the way it should be. I live by the sword, and I die by the sword. And I sleep like a baby on planes. Should I go out in a blaze of glory, I gave it my all. This is inner peace, this is freedom, this is happiness. And this is all one could ever ask for.
Take the leap of faith my friends, you won’t regret it – you will be an experience richer and a few dollars poorer, or an experience richer and a few dollars richer. What’s there to lose?
